Council leader to be ‘arrested’ for fountain ‘crimes’!

↑ Marco 'Fountain Fingers' Cereste

The leader of Peterborough City Council will be ‘arrested’ later this month and ‘stand trial’ for allegedly ‘washing his hands in the Cathedral Square fountains’!

The police have confirmed that officers will ‘raid’ a breakfast meeting that Cllr Marco Cereste and council chief executive Gillian Beasley are attending on Friday, 28 March – and it’s claimed detectives will ‘go in hard to cuff the criminals’. 
Both Cllr Cereste and Ms Beasley are expected to be carted straight off to crown court where they will be tried in front of Judge Madge

A crack team of ‘legal experts’ (basically whoever looks good in a wig) is being brought together to mount a robust defence of the charges, but, in a departure from normal procedure, Judge Madge has already made it clear that Cllr Cereste ‘is definitely guilty’ and so will be ‘locked up immediately’. 
He will serve his ‘jail term’ at Peterborough prison, and 
the media is expected to be given unprecedented access to the ‘trial’, with behind-the-scenes photography of the ‘criminals’ allowed – and encouraged!

Despite the apparent kangaroo nature of the justice process, it is for a good cause:
 Cllr Cereste and a number of other personalities from across Peterborough have agreed to take part in a Jail and Bail event to raise money for Ormiston Children and Families Trust.

Marco is hoping people will pledge enough ‘bail money’ to secure his release from behind bars. All the money received will go to the Trust, which supports children and young people from disadvantaged communities who face social exclusion. Cllr ‘Fingers in the Fountain’ Cereste, who maintains his innocence, said:
 ’So much for a transparent legal process – here I am facing arrest, trial and jail in a single morning!
 The only redeeming factor is that all the money that I raise to secure my bail is going to such a good cause. I have great admiration for the work that Ormiston Children and Families Trust does and I hope people will be able to dig deep for the charity’.

For more information about Ormiston Children and Families Trust visit

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