Mark Watson: ‘I walk this tightrope between a seemingly respectable life and complete chaos’

[prev] …be reflected in five per cent of the final edit; you’re just a cog in the wheel. Even if you do well, you’re at the mercy of casual audiences who might decide they don’t like you within five minutes and write nasty things about you on the Internet.

‘At least it had integrity. I’ve successfully performed a show which I wholeheartedly believe in, even if they didn’t like it!’

‘But when it’s your tour, matters are purely in your own hands. Yes, you’re on your own and vulnerable, but the flipside is that you have autonomy. Even if they hate it, you can say that, “At least it had integrity. I’ve successfully performed a show which I wholeheartedly believe in, even if they didn’t like it!”‘

Mark, a fully-fledged Edinburgh Fringe legend who has in the past manfully performed marathon 36-hour shows, carries on that he finds touring the most rewarding of all experiences. ‘It’s so satisfying. Most comedians want to get to the point where rather than being just another act on the bill, they are touring under their own name. I don’t aspire to much more than having a couple of hundred people who’ve bought a ticket with my name on it – even though some of them might not know who the hell I am!

‘Then you’re given artistic licence because people have actually paid to see you. That’s a great feeling. On tour, you’re delivering something that feels like it’s entirely your own product, for want of a better word. That’s pretty satisfying.’

‘These days PR people stop us telling the truth like that in our blurbs!’

The stand-up, whose debut DVD, ‘Mark Watson Live’, is available now, goes on to outline what subjects he will be covering in ‘Flaws’. “It’s not unusual that, like me, a comedian claims to be performing, “His darkest, most personal show”. Hardly anyone has written an entry to the Edinburgh programme saying, “I don’t give a toss – I’m just going through the motions with a trawl through my old routines”. These days PR people stop us telling the truth like that in our blurbs! So a lot of observational comedy is performed by people like me talking about things that have gone wrong.

‘I’ve now been a professional comedian for 10 years, and it seemed like the natural point to reflect on what I’ve done. I couldn’t help observing that most of the time has been spent making money from telling people about my personal inadequacies. So “Flaws” is about how my hapless stage persona has at some point become a hapless human being.’

The comedian, who has also appeared on We Need Answers, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Mock the Week, Would I Lie to You, Have I Got News for You, Live at the Apollo, Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow and Channel 4’s Comedy Gala, continues that, ‘The stuff I talk about on stage is not that different from my real life. I have a definite shtick – a slightly manic nervous energy which makes something of my incompetence and general failings. But that’s actually very similar to how I conduct my life. The effect of that on my mental well-being is ambiguous. If you’re performing a version of yourself, it’s quite easy to lose track of where your real self begins and ends.

‘It is sobering to realise that you’ve got no better as a 35-year-old and that if you don’t shape up, you’ll be a 50-year-old who has still not got to grips with the basic pillars of life’

‘In the show, I say that in my twenties I felt that it was fun to tell anecdotes about the different ways I’d screwed up. You’re allowed to be a shambles in your twenties. But it is sobering to realise that you’ve got no better as a 35-year-old and that if you don’t shape up, you’ll be a 50-year-old who has still not got to grips with the basic pillars of life. I have two children and a mortgage and still walk this strange tightrope between a seemingly respectable life and complete chaos!’

Mark, a Cambridge graduate and former Footlights performer who is one of the most intelligent and articulate comedians around, proceeds to go into further detail about the show. ‘I’m interested in the whole idea of flaws and fallibility. Perfection is not possible or desirable for humans. The denial of human quirks and flaws is not healthy. But the fact that you know others have flaws doesn’t necessarily comfort you.

‘I support the perennially underachieving football team Bristol City, but their local rivals Bristol Rovers are even worse. They’re in freefall. People saying to me, “It could be worse – you could support Rovers”, doesn’t really help. I’d like my team to do well rather than take comfort from the failures of others. There’s only so much consolation you can get from the idea of someone else doing worse.’

‘My life is out of control, so going on tour will be a great relief – I can’t get out on the road quickly enough!’

So, Mark adds, ‘In “Flaws” I try to improve myself and find role models to aspire to. My lack of confidence and self-esteem has powered my shows and my decisions in life. But if you look at the opposite, aggressively confident people, a lot of their qualities are loathsome. In correcting your flaws, you might actually move towards something even worse. Self-improvement is very difficult!’

As you can see, it is a pleasure to spend time in the company of this immensely likable comedian. Never very far away from the next gag, Mark closes by joking how relieved he is, after the exhaustion of new fatherhood, to be indulging in a sneaky rest on tour.

‘My life is out of control,’ smiles Mark, who is also a successful novelist and whose latest book, Hotel Alpha, has just been published. ‘So going on tour will be a great relief – I can’t get out on the road quickly enough! Performing the show has become the least stressful part of my day. All I have to do is stand up and talk for an hour – that eclipses all my other problems.

‘You know I’d love to stay and deal with this plumbing crisis, but sadly Bromsgrove awaits!’

‘Yesterday I did a warm-up gig in Eastbourne. It was three hours drive there, and I knew that when I got back to bed I’d have to get up almost immediately with the new baby. So that hour on stage was the lowest stress I felt all day!’

He concludes that, ‘Yes, the rigours of touring are considerable. But when you’re on the road, people are scrabbling round at home doing much less glamorous things. When comedians complain about touring, I assume they haven’t got families. Certainly there have been times at home when I’ve been delighted to say, “You know I’d love to stay and deal with this plumbing crisis, but sadly Bromsgrove awaits!”‘

And the cafe once more fills with the sound of laughter.

Mark Watson: Flaws
Sunday, 23 November, 7.30 pm
The Cresset, Rightwell, Bretton Centre
www.cresset.co.uk

Mark’s novel Hotel Alpha published by Picador is out now, RRP £14.99. For more information visit www.markwatsonthecomedian.com