…toddler in a ‘time out’, why would they spend that time thinking when, as adults, they’ve just said they’d use the time to plot revenge? So then people get the idea that respectful parenting is purely treating our children with the respect that we treat other people.’
‘We say here is the science, here’s the evidence and here’s the latest evidence on brain development, so parents can become their own experts’
Toddler Calm also has an appeal in being firmly rooted in the world of fact and science. As a clinical psychologist, and mother of two, Victoria is a veritable expert in the field, with extensive experience in both youth offending services and working with the NHS CAM (child and adolescent mental health) service, specialising in under fives. She reveals that the approach of Toddler Calm is heavily shaped by developmental psychology, attachment theory and also touching on some elements of psychoanalytic theory but also points out they are very much in touch with current scientific findings, for example working with Durham University who are currently conducting trials into toddler sleep patterns.
‘What we don’t ever want to do is give an opinion. If we’re saying something at Toddler Calm about what toddlers do or why they do it, we want to back that up. After every workshop I send participants a list of things I talked about and where they can find more information so people can get their own evidence and read up on it themselves. Because we don’t have an exact Toddler Calm way, or say this is right or wrong. We say here is the science, here’s the evidence and here’s the latest evidence on brain development, so parents can become their own experts. That’s what I consider good parenting advice.’
Victoria teaches both three- and eight-hour Toddler Calm workshops from the Calmababy Centre in Peterborough at a cost of £35 and £75 respectively per couple. To find out more visit www.toddlercalming.co.uk